Our course will help you understand the Narcissist’s Playbook
First, it’s important to understand what you’re dealing with.
A narcissist craves control, not connection. During divorce, they don’t just lose a partner—they lose a source of validation, power, emotional and potentially financial supply. You will quickly become their worst enemy and they will use everything, including your children, against you to leave you with nothing. Their lack of empathy will make them dangerous in the legal system, especially when kids are involved as they will use innocent children as manipulation tools. We’re going to prepare you for this battlefield and empower you so you know what to expect and you can be ahead of the narcissists game.
*** (Please keep in mind, we are not diagnosing your spouse, however we recommend that you request a psychological evaluation through the court system so your spouse has a legal obligation to undergo testing).
When Divorcing a Narcissist, You Can Expect:
- Lies and distortion of facts also known as gaslighting
- Smear campaigns and devaluation of your character
- Parental alienation attempts with your beloved children
- Playing games around timesharing agreements to cause chaos with you and the children
- Financial manipulation and coercive control
- AND Constant legal pushback—not just to win, but to wear you down
But here’s your power: knowledge. When you anticipate their moves, you’re better prepared to protect yourself—and your children.
We’ll also help you prioritize your Legal and Emotional Safety
Here are a few key steps you must take to ensure a safe, strategic divorce process:
- Hire a lawyer who understands narcissistic abuse.
Not just any divorce attorney—someone who gets high-conflict custody battles and understands narcissistic behaviors. They’ll help you document everything, anticipate false allegations, and advocate fiercely for your rights. Ask your lawyer to request a psychological evaluation through the court system so they are legally ordered to undergo an evaluation, giving you the ability to see exactly what you are dealing with. - Document everything.
Keep records of emails, texts, voicemails, security cam footage as well as drop-offs, pickups, and any incident involving your child. Narcissists lie—but documentation doesn’t. Timestamps on documentation helps in court since you can prove when something occurred and the narcissist cannot lie their way out of the situation. - Limit direct contact.
Use apps like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents to communicate. These tools create court-admissible records and reduce opportunities for manipulation. - Create a rock-solid parenting plan.
Be specific—down to the minute. Avoid vague language that gives them wiggle room to exploit. For example: Instead of “reasonable visitation,” say “Wednesdays from 5 to 8 PM at [location].” - Keep your emotional distance.
Don’t argue. Don’t defend. Don’t explain. Narcissists feed on reactions. Practice what experts call the Gray Rock Method—stay dull, neutral, boring.
We’ll teach you how to protect your Children—Not Just Legally, but Emotionally
This is the hardest part. You want to shield your kids, but you can’t control the other parent. So focus on what you can control:
- Be the safe parent.
Your children may come back from the other house confused, upset, or saying things that sound like they came from a script. Respond with calm. Be the stable, loving force they can rely on. Sometimes it takes a day or two for children to detox from being at the narcissist’s home which can be frustrating, but inquiring with them to ask them about how they’re feeling and giving them a safe space to talk will help them to dump out the trash the other parent placed on them. - Don’t badmouth the narcissist to your kids.
Even if it’s tempting. It can backfire. Instead, teach them critical thinking and emotional awareness. Let them arrive at their own truths—on their timeline. Be prepared that your ex will do all of these inappropriate things with your kids and will try to brainwash them into thinking you’re the problem. Teach your kids how to set boundaries around themselves to protect them at the other parent’s home so they can shut down conversations where you’re being trashed by their other parent. - Get them support.
Child therapists who understand high-conflict custody situations can be life-changing. Make sure they know what your child is going through—even if the narcissist tries to charm them. Also teach them boundaries and don’t allow disrespect even if they’re just repeating what the other parent said. Let them know there will be consequences for inappropriate behavior and disrespect at your home. - Practice parallel parenting, not co-parenting.
Co-parenting requires mutual respect. With a narcissist, that’s impossible. Parallel parenting reduces contact and minimizes conflict. Your children will soon realize there are different rules at both homes and they have to comply at each. Be prepared for manipulation games the narcissist will play around timesharing routines as it’s a great way to turn the children against you. Stick to your agreements to a T and only make changes during dire emergencies, creating structure for your children as well as boundaries that make them feel safe.
You’ll also learn how to Take Care of Yourself—You’re in a Marathon, Not a Sprint
The legal system is slow. Narcissists are relentless. It’s common for narcissists to continue dragging you through the legal system years after your children are grown and gone. This is designed to continue to punish you for rejecting them and seeing through their facade. This nonsense is used to drain you in every way and keep you entangled with them. Your greatest asset in this journey is your mental health.
- Therapy is not optional. You need a trauma-informed therapist—someone who understands narcissistic abuse and can help you rebuild your confidence, identity, and peace of mind.
- Set boundaries like your life depends on it—because it does. As soon as possible go no contact with the narcissist, rebuild new groups of friends that aren’t connected to them and be ok with being the villain in their story. You already won because you decided to break free from their delusional world where you were just a source of supply.
- Build your support system. Lean on friends, family, or support groups like this one. You cannot do this alone—and you don’t have to.
I want to leave you with this:
Divorcing a narcissist is not just a legal process—it’s an act of courage. You’re not just leaving a marriage. You’re breaking a cycle. You’re reclaiming your voice. You’re protecting your children’s future.
It won’t be easy. But it will be worth it.
You are not powerless. You are not alone. And you are absolutely capable of coming through this stronger, wiser, and more free than you’ve ever been.
Are you ready to take your power back?
